Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Scrapping as therapy

There are moments when the reality of having a chronic, incurable disease settles over me like a black fog. Many fellow Wegs patients on our support forum advocate counseling/therapy to deal with the issues that can be overwhelming. The heavy mood swings caused by prednisone alone can be enough to cause severe depression. Top that off with the unflattering physical side effects of the drugs Weggies take and you've got a recipe for an extreme case of the blues.

For now, I choose not to add another pill to my daily regimen, happy pill though it may be. I will probably explore the possibility of therapy, but for now, creating is my lift, my fast-track up-only elevator. I've had some pages swirling around in my brain for awhile, documenting the reality of my current life. They are not a "please feel sorry for me" or an "I am spiraling downward" cry for help. I'm simply putting to paper some very real feelings I had/am having about my health situation. I hope in doing so that I can express and acknowledge those feelings, without letting them drag me down.

KP's sketch 4, SC Joyland kit

(Just an aside - all three pictures on the layout are from 2-3 years ago. I don't have a current picture because I have been avoiding being in front of the camera like the plague. Someday I'll come to terms with that, but I'm not quite there yet...)


Ashley said...

I admire your ability to say it like it is. I can't imagine the toll this takes not only on your physical body but also on your emotions. You are an example to me in so many ways and I don't think you know how much I watch and look up to you. You really are awesome, and I love ya. I'm so happy we were able to meet you. Oh and you know I love your short hair! :-)

Mary Jo said...

You know before I knew that you were dealing with so much, I remember looking at your profile pic and thinking how pretty you are.

The one right now on your blog. I hadn't seen a "before" photo :)
Even so, I know that getting these feeling down are therapy for you and not a "woe is me" deal even though you are entitled.
And that makes you a very strong person in my opinion.

JenniferSanborn said...
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Julie (juls2000) said...

{{{Hugs}}} I admire your words! Thinking of you! Beautiful page!

Teka Cochonneau said...

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I don't feel that you are crying for help but simply stating what you are feeling at the moment. I think it is important to share all your emotions... not every emotion is a happy one.

They had my dad on predinisone and chemo... I know it can take a toll on you. I am impressed that you are sharing your experiences and using them as artistic expressions.

Valerie said...

I'm sorry you are going through such a difficult time - thanks for sharing your story. I was unfamiliar with Wegs until today.

Soccer Nyla said...

You're beautiful Missy! I love the top left picture; I think we look alike a lot in that one. Lucky me. Great post. Really heartfelt and honest. Your strength is an inspiration sis! Love you!